What's Wrong with Jennifer?

I've heard that since I was a teenager, whenever I told someone that I hated my name. What's wrong with Jennifer? Nothing technically. How could there ever be anything wrong with any name? But my name snob brain can definitely find things wrong with a name.

To me, the name sounds harsh. Sometimes I associate shapes or edges with names, and Jennifer is a sharp jagged edge. An ugly sharp jagged edge. Not a pretty one like icicles on the ledge of a roof, nope, something more like the edges of torn metal. The name is Cornish and derived from Guinevere, which I also think sounds harsh.

Then there's the fact that the name is common. I've met more Jennifer's in my life than I can remember, and in middle and high school there was so many other people in my classes with that name that someone was going to get stuck being called by their last name. It was usually me. (Remember my great disdain for my surname. That's for another post). That added to my dislike of the name my parents gave me, because, according to my mother, "Jennifer wasn't common when you were born." But that's not true at all. According to ssa.gov, Jennifer was the number one most common girls name in the U.S. from 1970 to 1984. It was replaced by Jessica the following year - a name that I would much rather have. Although it's common, it's a beautiful name and doesn't make me think of jagged sheets of metal that will slice me open.

I've been going by Jenny for ten years now, though most people who knew me before still call me Jennifer and it greatly annoys me. Sometimes I correct them, sometimes I don't. However, no one I've met since then is allowed to call me that, and many probably don't even know my real name isn't Jenny. I'm not hugely fond of Jenny either, but it's a pretty and delicate name. It makes me think of smooth rounded surfaces. In fact, I probably wouldn't have any issues with the name if it wasn't derived from the one I loathe so much.

My middle name is Dawn. At least my mom got that part right. I think I like it so much because of what it represents, the first light of day, the twilight before sunrise. The name is simple but beautiful, and while it isn't unique, it's not hugely common either. I intend to have my surname legally be made to Dawn within the next year. I don't make a secret of the fact that I have no intentions on ever getting married, so adopting a man's surname isn't in the cards. Along with that name change, I will be dropping Jennifer to Jenny and choosing a new middle name.

People who seek legal name changes outside of marriage or divorce usually have a damn good reason for it. Not me. I'm just a name snob who doesn't like her name. But names are a salient part of our identity, and I believe that we should have control over that part of who we are just as much as we do other features that we choose to represent us. I want a name that I feel fits me, and the name my parents gave me just doesn't do that.

I'm sure I'm not the only one with this struggle, so if you or someone you know has similar issues with the name given by your/their parents, contact me through email or facebook. I would love to interview you about it and share your story.

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